|
|
|
|
|
|
03/13/2010 12:00 AM
|
| Julian McCullough: Drunk Girl Orgasm
|
Trying to get a drunk girl to finish is like trying to take a drunk girl home when she can't remember where she lives. She's like, 'That's not it, that's not it, that's not it.'
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
02/09/2010 12:15 AM
|
| Sinbad: Climb Mountains
|
Black people start making money and want to do stuff we would never do, want to climb mountains. It's right there -- you ain't got to climb it, you got a house. Why you gotta go outside and climb a rock?
|
|
|
|
02/05/2010 12:00 AM
|
| Charlie Murphy: 6.5 Billion People on the Planet
|
To put that number in perspective, 6.5 billion people is so many people that anything that's humanely imaginable, as you imagine it, somewhere on the planet, there is a motherf**ker doing it.
|
|
|
|
02/03/2010 12:00 AM
|
| Pete Holmes: I Love New York
|
There are so many people in this city, so much happening, that it's impossible to tell if your apartment is haunted. Think about that, that's true. 'Cause you can hear anything, at any hour -- there's always something to blame it on.
|
|
|
|
12/02/2009 12:15 AM
|
| Jon Lajoie: Mysteries of the Universe
|
I have this thing that I do called 'Mysteries of the Universe,' when I gaze up at the countless stars and infinite galaxies. I realize how small and insignificant my girlfriend is. So, I get drunk and cheat on her with my 18-year-old neighbor.
|
|
|
|
12/01/2008 03:33 AM
|
| Walks Into a Bar... Vampires
|
Three vampires walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have a pint of blood."
The second one says, "I'll have one, too."
The third one says, "I'll have a pint of plasma."
The bartender says, "So, that'll be two Bloods and a Blood Lite?"
|
|
|
|
12/01/2008 03:33 AM
|
| Women and Bad Weather
|
Q: What do women, tornadoes and hurricanes have in common?
A: They all get the house.
|
|
|
|
12/01/2008 03:33 AM
|
| Ultimate Rejection
|
Q: What's the ultimate rejection?
A: When you're masturbating and your hand falls asleep.
|
|
|
|
12/01/2008 03:33 AM
|
| Men and Snowstorms
|
Q: How is a man like a snowstorm?
A: You don't know when it's going to come, how many inches you'll get or how long it'll last.
|
|
|
|
10/30/2008 06:11 AM
|
| Love and Herpes?
|
Q: What's the difference between love and herpes?
A: Herpes lasts forever.
|
|
|
|
10/30/2008 06:11 AM
|
| Boiled Egg
|
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I don't think I can get hard, I just got laid this morning!
|
|
|
|
10/30/2008 06:11 AM
|
| Smallness
|
You're so small that when it rains you're the last to know!
|
|
|
|
10/30/2008 12:15 AM
|
| Natasha Leggero: Male Comics
|
Male comics are always coming up to me, and they're like, 'Hey, Natasha, don't you think you're a little attractive to be a comedian?' And I'm like, 'Don't you think you're a little ugly to be talking to me?'
|
|
|
|
|
|
Free Lucky Numbers for Your Site!
Bookmark us to return for your lucky numbers!
Lottery Winner?
